As the newest member of the Eli’s Place Board, Rachel Lebovic brings her valuable experience with mental illness and her academic curiosity to the board table. Currently a student at the University of Toronto’s Institute of Medical Science, Rachel is pursuing her PhD broadly focused on suicide prevention. We are delighted to have Rachel working with us.
A Different Brain
“I’m not doing this. There’s something broken in my brain.” These are words Rachel Lebovic recalls sharing with her parents at a low point about 4 years ago. And by “this” Rachel meant life. She was done struggling with depression and suicidal ideation. Unable to find peace and a path forward, she identified her brain as broken. Fortunately, Rachel did find her path and along the way learned her brain is not broken, it’s just different.
Sharing Personal Experiences
Rachel’s parents have been her stalwart companions on her challenging road to understanding her mental health, and they have encouraged Rachel to use her many gifts to make a difference in this field. For many years, Rachel has been doing just that. Willing to share tough personal experiences, Rachel is equally adept at recognizing areas of change and ways to improve the system. She has published articles, given speeches and even presented a TED Talk which encapsulates her experience and the need to drive change.
At her first meeting with Eli’s Place co-founders David and Deborah Cooper, Rachel identified immediately with their passion to improve the lives of others facing mental illness. She noted that not only did they value her experience, they saw a place for her in the organization. While Rachel admires the strength of the Coopers in pursuing their vision of creating a treatment centre in their son’s honour, I can say with confidence that the Coopers admire the strength they see in Rachel.
Psychiatric Treatment Is Often Not Therapeutic
It requires a great deal of personal strength to endure two stays as a patient in a psychiatric hospital in the United States. Rachel, as a young undergraduate, found herself on a co-ed ward with patients decades her senior. It was scary. She describes the unit as primarily focussed on medication adjustment and detox. Rachel was prescribed powerful psychiatric medications for the first time. She simply wanted and needed to sleep, but patient rooms were off limits during the day. She recalls kindly older women, fellow patients, watching over her as she slept on the floor of the common room.
None of the professionals involved in her care would help her facilitate maintaining ties with the university. She feared losing her year of study. In group therapy sessions, her fellow patients spoke of jobs, spouses, financial pressures and parenting — none of it related to Rachel at her stage of life. Of her first hospitalizations, she notes: “It felt like none of the professionals understood me.” She felt vulnerable and unseen. Nothing in her first experiences with psychiatric hospitalization came close to creating a therapeutic environment for Rachel.
Rachel started struggling around the age of 10 and saw her first therapist at 12. After 7 years of struggle, including the two stints of hospitalization in the States, Rachel was admitted to Sunnybrook hospital in Toronto at age 19. While she notes that “no psychiatric hospital is without its traumatic components,” she felt safe at this adolescent unit.. Group therapy sessions were more relatable. Different treatment modalities including Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) and Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) brought Rachel to a place where she was willing to take medications, to engage in talk therapy. Therapy gave Rachel a space where she could do the work to understand herself, and a diagnosis of autism provided a new way forward.
Where Are the Residential Centres for Transitional Aged Youth?
Still, Rachel was extremely ill and even after a 2-month stay in hospital she was discharged to an uncertain future. While there was discussion of a “step down unit” or a residential centre, nothing could be found in Ontario. Too often Rachel describes an Alice in Wonderland scenario where she was no longer sick enough to remain in hospital yet too sick for a private setting that was uncomfortable with her suicidal ideation. She was too old for some programming and not old enough for others.
Quick to identify the needs of transitional aged youth, Rachel rattles off the many life changes facing this group: pursuing post secondary education, transitioning to the workforce, gaining financial independence, separating from family and making new relationships. All of this is impacted by ongoing neurodevelopmental changes. Impulsivity, challenging boundaries, poor decision-making, experimentation of all kinds are aspects of the maturing brain.
Uniquely Positioned
Some people who recover from mental illness don’t want to talk about deeply personal issues in a very public forum. Some don’t wish to relive traumatic experiences. Rachel knows she is uniquely positioned to share critical insights. Despite some questioning her willingness to “attach herself to a psychiatric label,” Rachel confidently explains she is excited to work in this intersection of the personal and the academic. As a young woman on the autism spectrum with a history of depression and anxiety, Rachel has found her purpose in studying suicide prevention.
Rachel has long known that her work would be in the area of transitional aged youth. A veteran journal writer, Rachel can point to an entry in 2020 in which she wrote, “I’m going to do this!” It was a pleasure to interview Rachel for this article and to extend a personal welcome.
We’re thrilled that Rachel Lebovic will bring her youth and her lived experience to the Eli’s Place board.
Eli’s Place will be a rural, residential treatment program for young adults with serious mental illness. To learn more about our mission and our proven-effective model click here.
Kate Kostandoff | Eli’s Place Board Member
Kate Kostandoff is a member of the Eli’s Place Board. A retired high school teacher, she lives with her family in Port Hope, Ontario.
